at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize