Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
