I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
