I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
