I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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