Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
