she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
