oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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