its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
