i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
