If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize