I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
