I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
