then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
