Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize