So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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