Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
