writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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