he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
