You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
