he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The air was thick with penises
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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