why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
