I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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