I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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