So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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