a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize