3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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