Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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