My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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