How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
