I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
