Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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