so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
