Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
