i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
