Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
