she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
