Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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