you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
