I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
