Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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