have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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