I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
