dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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