Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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