dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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