i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
