dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
