4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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