My balls are so social today.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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