she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
