He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
