i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
