My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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