My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize