I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Sorry my hands just texted you
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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