sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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